Don't get me wrong, our life is definitely not horrible or bad at all but I have been down in the dumps lately.
Before having Benjamin, I was terrified to be a mom of three 4 and under. I felt like the only thing I did all day was stay in sweat pants, no make up and yell at the kids. How was I supposed to add one more to the mix and keep my cool?
I'm still working on that but God has really walked me through every second of the day and given me energy and patience that I did not have before. It's been difficult yes but it IS doable. And I'm doing it.
Another emotion I've been currently feeling is being homesick.
I know, I know, we moved because this was what we wanted so I thought, and what we could afford. It might be because of having the baby and how sweet and helpful everyone has been these past two weeks but I just want to be surrounded by my family and friends. I get super sad thinking about it and how bad I want to be back in my town where I know and recognize people and places.
This past Sunday we attended our church in Camarillo and the service was about how it's good to fellowship and talk your emotions out with fellow believers so that you are lifted up.
So afterward I reached out to a couple of sweet ladies I've known there and cried out to them telling them how I feel. I got such real feedback it made me feel so much better. My friend (mind you she has 4 little ones and looks so well put together every Sunday and volunteers) told me that it's okay to feel this way, that having a third baby can mess with your emotions and it takes time to find your routine. She even said that if it takes feeding them a chocolate bar for dinner so I can rest or do what I have to, it is okay. We can always get back on track later but I need to also take care of myself and find that time to be okay.
Another friend also texted me telling this ( feeling homesick) is temporary and it will pass. That we will find our happy place and this is just a "for now" thing.
"By helping each other with your troubles, you obey the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
My mom and my dad have been super sweet and caring as well, considering my emotions and sending me prayer texts and support. I'm telling you, I'm really missing all my people.
I know this will pass and whether or not we stay in this new city or not, time will pass and this feeling will be one of the past. The kids will grow and I will miss them being little and not having a routine to our daily life. But for now I choose to embrace this new season and make the best of it. I have 3 beautiful healthy boys that love one another and a beautiful little house that suites us for now where I can enjoy seeing my boys run all around in.
So here are the steps we learned at church to help us handle difficult times the way Jesus intends us to :
1.) Respecting and Resolving feelings
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalms 34:18
2.)Reaching out to others
3.) Refusing to be Bitter
"Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you... it causes deep trouble hurting many in their spiritual lives." Hebrews 12:15
4.) Refocusing on the Truth
5.) Relying on the Truth
" I have learned the secret of being happy at any tie in everything that happens, I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength ." Philippians 4:13
> Lean on Christ
>Go to Christ for Direction
>Trust in Christ for Salvation
I want to remember even these difficult moments because I know I will look back and see God's work in me, providing me with the strength I need to overcome this funk.
I hope this might also help anyone reading this going through anything in their life. It too shall pass.