The McDaniels 2021

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Update:

 It's been about 2 years since my last true post, I don't know what to say about that except life happened and it took off.

I'm a very honest person, especially when journaling. My/our struggles are pretty much the same. I look back at older posts and realize that it's still the same obstacles just in a different form. 

Last I mentioned on here was having our fourth son Ethan and Noah's private school here in town shut down that same year. We had Ethan and decided to pull Noah out and homeschool for the remainder of that year. We homeschooled him for 1st grade and it was awesome! And than the world wide (rhymes with schmandemic) hit and it was a good thing we had already been prepared to homeschool. Noah is now a 3rd grader, although other homeschooling moms know there really are no grades in homeschool because every kid goes at their own pace. We've also been starting Levi out with Kinder this year. We decided to wait until he was 6 to start. And surprisingly he knows so much already! 

The wonderful thing about homeschooling your kids is making it fit to your familie's needs and lifestyle. In April we welcomed our 5th son, Oliver and homeschooling looks more like unschooling/ lifestyle learning rather than sitting down doing work. It's what works for us and it's great!

Oliver is now 8 months old and has been such a blessing to our lives. His brothers are so good to him and show him daily just how much they love him! Seperate post on Mr. Oliver coming soon. 

So why am I back here all of the sudden? Well, with five small boys I don't have extra time to blog the way I used to, but I recently hurt myself and cannot bear weight on my foot for two months. I had foot surgery after injuring myself while photographing a wedding and needed surgery to repair the torn ligaments in my foot. I still have about 4 weeks or so to go so I thought I'd catch up on here as best as I could. Luckily David has been home since the injury and that's been huge! The only time I've gotten this type of help has been after having a baby. I love having David help me with the boys. It's a ton of work for just one person , and I'm proud of how hard he's been working to keep everything and everyone afloat. 

In His Hands

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

James 1:19

Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I'm afraid of how I might be affecting someone. Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I'm afraid of my life, our content being out in the world. Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I'm afraid of what people will think of me and us.
Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking everyday is as pretty as a picture I share.
Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I think I have nothing to look forward to and I might be too boring.
Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I'm afraid my playful self might be misinterpreted for immaturity .
Sometimes I stop blogging on here because I don't want to be judged for how we live our life as Christians.


There's plenty more things I fear while sharing on here but I don't want to list it all. The point is I need to focus on my reason for blogging. Why I started blogging back in 2009. I wanted yes, to be one of those super cool and fashionable bloggers with an exciting life that would share tutorials on different things they make. But my number one reason for starting my blog was for myself. I felt this was my way of getting my journaling done and reminding myself of my passions, dreams and aspirations . I wanted to be able to look back at my life, my growth and all that we have been through as a family.

Another thing that keeps me from blogging is when I am experiencing hardships in life with people. Broken relationships, end of friendships and being unhappy with my own self. I feel the need to not share when I am going through those moments. I'm realizing that, that would most likely be the best time to journal. To get my feelings out with what is currently going on. Not to gossip but to simply express myself. Who knows, maybe one or two of you that read this might be going through something similar . And as far as I know and what I like, I always seek to see that someone else in the world has experienced what I have experienced .

I watched the movie I Can Only Imagine yesterday and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was watching the relationship between my mother and I on screen. The emotional and physical abuse of growing up in a household full of hate, full of anger and full of demons not yet faced by truth. The movie ends with the guy forgiving his father for everything that has happened and the father fully gives his life to Jesus.
That's the thing, in my heart I don't have hate. I don't wish ill. I do and have forgiven. But what if the situation just isn't safe? What if the other person has not changed and keeps going back rather than forward. I've heard plenty of times that sometimes you just have to love from a distance. And yes I have been doing that but what kind of a life are we living as believers if we don't live among sinners. Love on them like Jesus did.

Safety first? or living a Christ like life first?

Proverbs 13:20 New International Version (NIV)

20 

Walk with the wise and become wise,

    for a companion of fools suffers harm.

And what about relationships that feel so one ended? Relationships that constantly "leave the ball on your court?" How is that even a relationship? That's not. It takes two to make a relationship work and it should NEVER be one ended. Relationships/ friendships are meant to be honest. They are meant to be a fellowship among believers to help one another grow and strengthen each other. They are not meant to break anyone down so low. IT TAKES TWO. And it takes an open and loving heart.

Whether or not you agree with me, I live my life based on the teachings of the bible. Let me rephrase that, I try , I try to live my life that way. Do I always get it right, heck no. But I try. I don't live my life trying to make anyone feel lesser than I. My intentions are never to hurt. My intentions are to live an honest life of love and to offer myself any way I can.

Sometimes that's all you can do and the rest is in God's hands. Not a ball in anyone's court but in God's hands. I hope this gets to whoever needs this.

All this to also say that I'm not going to stop being me. I'm not going to let the let downs in life keep me from living a full life. God made me to be myself and that's what I am going to keep doing.  So hopefully I can devote more time to posting and sharing on here and opening up a little more. Until next time!

Weekend Update May 17-19 2019

Friday was spent doing our usual mile and a half walk around the park and then playing at the park/skate park. The boys ask to go to the park probably 40 times a day.  (insert eyeroll emoji)

I was super excited about it being Friday because David had surprised me with signing the kids up to be watched at church for 4 hours while we got to go on a date! He was being intentional and I felt it =) 

So after the park, I spent the rest of the day attempting to do my hair. I want to go back to having a balayage so I got through with the first bleach sesh. Surprisingly it wasn't too hard with all four boys. They al kind of looked out for one another while mama walked around the house looking like a fool with foils in her hair lol.

So to be honest, David didn't specifically have a plan to our date, he knew we would eat but not sure where and that's kind of all he had in mind. So we agreed on one of our favorite restaurants Thai Peru. I love it there! The food is amazing but the best part of going there is that all the ladies that work there know us already. They spoil our boys and love to see them! =) 

We got the usual, yellow chicken curry, chicken pad Thai and an order of spring rolls.

Oh and yes of course Ethan was third Wheeling.

 After dinner, we went to the outlets and went into the Disney store. David knows how much I love it there for the boys. We bought them each a cute Toys Story shirt.
From there He literally had no idea on what to do so he stopped by one of our favorite dessert spots Rolling Pin for donuts and coffee. I love their glazed donuts but man, they're so rich and heavy one is more than enough.

We finished the night and picked up the boys early from church and headed home. They had their fun too! They were given pizza for dinner and they got to play games and watch a movie! 

Ethan after a wild night out with mom and dad. haha

 Saturday we woke up early for Levi's basketball game. It was the last game of the season! Man I'm so sad its already over but our little guy has gotten so good at basketball ! We're definitely proud of him and his love for sports and want to keep pursuing keeping him in sports while he's all about it!

It was a lot for our whole family but thankfully we were all in it together . We'd drive 45 min to practice every monday with all the kids. And same for every Saturday for the games. We'd wake up early and head out by 8am every Saturday to be at the game by 9.  We always had supporters for him watching along. His grandma was always there, my dad went once, Grandpa Ken went a few times and my cousin, their aunt and uncle were there a couple times too! It was fun!

This is his coach, he was such a sweet and caring coach!

We celebrated Levi's last game by taking him to Toppers Pizza. Yum!

From that we had agreed on a day of rest at home. Which meant catching up with yard work for David and cleaning inside for me. And laundry. Sometimes we need to plan to not plan so that we can truly enjoy our time together at home. We are usually on the go and visiting here and there but this was needed. 

Twins! Ethan and Daddy's cheeks! 

Also this filter makes me look freakish and like a fish. I did my MaryKate Smile hahaha

A picture I had sent to my mother in law. Which she didn't appreciate because she never responded to it lol

Cute fun badges David made for the boys while he was at work

My mom in law bought Ethan this little kickin tunes mat. He loves it! 

So far it's been a good week. We were out most of the day today but are home now and waiting on Dad to get here. Hope you enjoyed catching up with our weekend and week! 

Designing the Boys' Bedrooms

It's been a while since I shared what our rental is looking like since we moved in. We've definitely come a long way in the past year and a half and I'd like to share what we've done to the interior of the place.

This house is a rental, as I mentioned, which means we can't do too much to what it already is and we have to work around what is already there and done to the place and that's exactly what we've been doing. I've learned to leave the paint on the walls of a rental just as is because when it's time to move that's the last thing you want to be stuck doing or paying for. Unfortunately that means we're living with yellow painted walls to EVERY....ROOM... OF... THE ... HOUSE. I know, it couldn't be a more unflattering color for indoors. With that being said, I still want this to feel like our little place so I do have pictures hung up and wall pieces to make the place look better. Let's start with our recent redo in the older boys' room.

A little before pic of their room.  Simple. Minimal. but still it wasn't enough. They outgrew the beds too fast!

 We got rid of their dresser and decided to put shelves on the wall and have their clothes be hung up in their closet. I love how this turned out! We were originally going to completely diy the shelves but it was going to be $500 for all the piping! No thanks! So I found these pipes on amazon specifically made for these shelves. We bought and stained the wood and Tada! So proud of my Man for doing this!

Shelves after styling them

Thrifted jars and gifted pickle jars

So for their beds, we needed something that would last them longer than a couple years. Bunkbeds! I love having a kids room that isn't super well... kiddish. We found this awesome bed on walmart.com and bedding kept it fun and young from pillow fort from target. Rug was brand new from goodwill $70 but you can find it at target for I believe $129.

David spotted this bull portrait from Target too and said it would look pretty awesome in there. He was right! It was the perfect finishing touch! 

 It's a small room but I think we made it work nicely. They really enjoy it in there and they are now completely sleeping all night in there which is nice!

Onto the babies' room. Here's what we did to make Ethan his own little area in the room. This room is tiny. Like super short slanted ceiling and tiny closet tiny. Somehow we managed to fit two cribs and a dresser in this room along with a rocker/glider and it still looks good! I love this room so much! 

I took my time gathering items for this room and I kept it very cheap. Free finds, clearance and half off goodwill items made my dreams come true in here!

 a little behind the scenes action of Daddy putting together Ethan's crib.

I love how both these rooms came out! They are minimal but still cozy ! They are a little bit more grown up but still have touches of kids style in them. I absolutely enjoy finding ways to make our space work for us. I hope to someday make this my career because I truly enjoy designing and styling a space to feel and look good. 

Mother's Day 2019

I can honestly say that this Mother's day was absolutely perfect! I guess I didn't expect much this year and I'm not just saying that to be a sad sally.. ( sad sally.. what susie c'mon) I just know we're trying to get our finances straight so I knew we weren't doing much. 

With that being said, I woke up at 7:30 am which is sleeping in around here! David made sure to keep the boys quiet and in their rooms while the baby and I slept in. It was amazing! On our dresser David had picked roses from our landlord's yard (shhh don't tell on him), he made me a card, like he actually made the template and added pictures in it and typed it out. He also had bought me the new Magnolia Journal since he knows I love to have them every season. It was a refreshing morning to wake up to.

We got ready for church and headed out.

The sermon was so good! We learned that as parents, the biggest gift we can give to our children is their faith and their relationship with God. I want my boys to forever remember me as their mom with big faith. If there is anything in the world I want them to know its that anything is Possible with Christ. 

All the boys came out of their classes with crafts in hand for me! It's the most precious thing ever! Since we don't do preschool and are homeschooling, seeing them do crafts elsewhere and for me, makes me so happy! 

After church we were not planning on going out to eat but David surprised us and took us to Island's. I had the beach bowl and man was it tasty!

We finished the day by me walking Goodwill for an hour while David went home with the boys to mow an clean up the yard and then we loaded up the car with the scooters and went to the skatepark. It really was a good, chill happy day and I would not have changed any bit. I'm so thankful I get this role of being their mom. I am forever changed because of this title! And although it is the hardest job I have ever had, it's paying more than money ever could. 

I mean, C'mon, look at this face! I get to wake up to this every single day! And to three other little monkeys that are always fight , playing , laughing crying and needing me every second of everyday. ;)

Mother's Day 2013 1

Mother's Day 2014 2

Mother's Day 2015 3

Mother's Day 2017 4

Mother's Day 2018 5

currently/post partum recovery

It's saturday May 11, 2019 and I'm sitting in my room reminiscing and looking at old photos from when Noah was a baby.
I can't help but envy who I used to be. A good mom. A happy mom. A healthy mom. An overachieving mom. A fun mom. A skinny mom. A mom that only had one focus in mind and that was Noah and being the best wife she could be.
What happened to that young bright and excited for life person I used to be? How did  I let myself start worrying so much about what everyone else thinks and forget to just enjoy life and take it with a breeze?

I've learned a lot from friendships and toxic relationships and what to accept and how to forgive, but one thing I haven't quite gotten down is how to stop the toxic relationship with myself. I'm hard on myself. I truly am my own worst critic. I let my mind make up things that are not true about myself and I get carried away. I believe the lies in my head that tell me "you're not good enough, you're not beautiful, you're not doing enough, you're fat, you're ...etc..." I want to become myself again. That girl 5 to 10 years ago that had so much potential and confidence. I want to be her. I will become her. I'm sorry that I let myself be ruled by others' and my own negativity. I am letting go. And I am forgiving myself.

Currently I am overweight. I can't seem to go down but I am working out and walking everyday. I'm cooking my meals at home and trying not to let it consume me too much. I know that my body was able to do amazing wonderful things by growing 4 perfectly healthy boys and for that I am thankful.

Levi peeing in the background 

Me maybe 2 months ago. One month old Ethan.

Me right before being married.

Me one year after having Noah.

I know it all takes time but I think that is the hardest about recovery after birth, waiting and being patient with yourself . I know I am capable of getting back down to my normal pre pregnancy weight, it's just going to take a little longer now that I have made 4 beautiful babies.

I know that I left my recovery post kind of hanging in the air, I just wanted to wait to write about it until I was feeling better. Recovery after baby number four was definitely different than all the others and  a lot more painful. The first week I felt good! Almost back to normal you could say but I think that's where I should have slowed my pace. I'm not one to stay inside, I love to be out and about but now I know that when you're in those first six weeks after having a baby, it's time that needs to be spent letting your body rest as much as possible. Which is very hard to do with four littles in tow. I began having pain and discomfort and I googled what I had been feeling. From all that I could find online it seemed to me that I was at the beginning stage of prolapsing. I freaked. How?! I had never heard of anything like this in my life! A prolapse can happen in 3 different forms for women. There's a bladder prolapse, prolapse of the uterus and rectal prolapse. Basically your organ begins to descend to your vagina and can even come all the way out when it's severe! I gave it until my 6 week appointment to get seen and I am glad I did because I allowed for time to pass and my body to keep healing. When I went in, my OB explained what a prolapse is and how it happens. She took a look and said I am not prolapsing. Phew! That was music to my ears. She assured me that after having four kids things take and will take a little bit longer with getting back to the way it was. As scary as it was to think I was possibly prolapsing, It's scarier to think this isn't talked about anywhere. I am 28 years old and have never heard of a prolapse. After looking online and getting most of my answers from there, I found that there are plenty of ways of strengthening your pelvic floor muscles and thats by doing different pelvic floor exercises . I am not 100 % sure that you can cure it by doing so but you can strengthen those muscles again to avoid other issues.

I wish growing up and older came with a How TO manual. If only...

Having 4 kids 6 and under back to back is and has been the hardest job I've ever had but it has been rewarding. I do miss them when they sleep and I do want them to stay little. I just need to learn patience in every aspect. I choose Happy from here on.

Hope Mother's Day is everything it should be to all the wonderful moms out there!