currently/post partum recovery

It's saturday May 11, 2019 and I'm sitting in my room reminiscing and looking at old photos from when Noah was a baby.
I can't help but envy who I used to be. A good mom. A happy mom. A healthy mom. An overachieving mom. A fun mom. A skinny mom. A mom that only had one focus in mind and that was Noah and being the best wife she could be.
What happened to that young bright and excited for life person I used to be? How did  I let myself start worrying so much about what everyone else thinks and forget to just enjoy life and take it with a breeze?

I've learned a lot from friendships and toxic relationships and what to accept and how to forgive, but one thing I haven't quite gotten down is how to stop the toxic relationship with myself. I'm hard on myself. I truly am my own worst critic. I let my mind make up things that are not true about myself and I get carried away. I believe the lies in my head that tell me "you're not good enough, you're not beautiful, you're not doing enough, you're fat, you're ...etc..." I want to become myself again. That girl 5 to 10 years ago that had so much potential and confidence. I want to be her. I will become her. I'm sorry that I let myself be ruled by others' and my own negativity. I am letting go. And I am forgiving myself.

Currently I am overweight. I can't seem to go down but I am working out and walking everyday. I'm cooking my meals at home and trying not to let it consume me too much. I know that my body was able to do amazing wonderful things by growing 4 perfectly healthy boys and for that I am thankful.

Levi peeing in the background 

Me maybe 2 months ago. One month old Ethan.

Me right before being married.

Me one year after having Noah.

I know it all takes time but I think that is the hardest about recovery after birth, waiting and being patient with yourself . I know I am capable of getting back down to my normal pre pregnancy weight, it's just going to take a little longer now that I have made 4 beautiful babies.

I know that I left my recovery post kind of hanging in the air, I just wanted to wait to write about it until I was feeling better. Recovery after baby number four was definitely different than all the others and  a lot more painful. The first week I felt good! Almost back to normal you could say but I think that's where I should have slowed my pace. I'm not one to stay inside, I love to be out and about but now I know that when you're in those first six weeks after having a baby, it's time that needs to be spent letting your body rest as much as possible. Which is very hard to do with four littles in tow. I began having pain and discomfort and I googled what I had been feeling. From all that I could find online it seemed to me that I was at the beginning stage of prolapsing. I freaked. How?! I had never heard of anything like this in my life! A prolapse can happen in 3 different forms for women. There's a bladder prolapse, prolapse of the uterus and rectal prolapse. Basically your organ begins to descend to your vagina and can even come all the way out when it's severe! I gave it until my 6 week appointment to get seen and I am glad I did because I allowed for time to pass and my body to keep healing. When I went in, my OB explained what a prolapse is and how it happens. She took a look and said I am not prolapsing. Phew! That was music to my ears. She assured me that after having four kids things take and will take a little bit longer with getting back to the way it was. As scary as it was to think I was possibly prolapsing, It's scarier to think this isn't talked about anywhere. I am 28 years old and have never heard of a prolapse. After looking online and getting most of my answers from there, I found that there are plenty of ways of strengthening your pelvic floor muscles and thats by doing different pelvic floor exercises . I am not 100 % sure that you can cure it by doing so but you can strengthen those muscles again to avoid other issues.

I wish growing up and older came with a How TO manual. If only...

Having 4 kids 6 and under back to back is and has been the hardest job I've ever had but it has been rewarding. I do miss them when they sleep and I do want them to stay little. I just need to learn patience in every aspect. I choose Happy from here on.

Hope Mother's Day is everything it should be to all the wonderful moms out there! 

My First Mother's Day!

May 12, 2013

Today was obviously the best mother's day I've ever had... I mean it was the first one after all! =) Our day started super early (Noah decided he wanted to give me my gift early @ 5:40am... by gift I mean poo.) Once Noah woke up I decided I had to stay up and get ready since today we were doing Noah's dedication at church! To some of you, 5:40 might seem a wee bit exaggeratingly early, but actually I just made it in time to get out and on the road by 9:30!!! It's tough when you gotta shower, wipedown the baby, change him, breastfeed him, than I had to shower, than David came home, I ate, he ate, I did my hair and makeup, pumped and out we went! BAM!

This Mother's Day was made extra special by my two main men. David came home with a dozen roses in hand and a beautiful card and than we got to dedicate our sweet little man at church! Our parents attended and made it super special!

They had a lot of children to dedicate so what they did was line us up and one by one they presented the parents and child and said the meaning of the name of the child along with a scripture. We chose to have them read Luke 2:40. The pastor and his wife prayed over each child and at the end they sang Jesus Loves Me Yes He Does.. it was just perfect! I got teary eyed towards the end.

Noah was given this adorable piggy bank of Noah's Ark and his name engraved on it by his sweet grandparents! I melted when I saw this! Seriously, how cute is it?!

Cards from David, My mom + giftcard to tj maxx, and my daddy! 

After church my mom and her husband and David's mom and family and us, we went for lunch at Mongolian BBQ. It was alright... but I wouldn't go back.. My food was not that great.

 Someone was ready to go home..

So we went home and then I had a project for the hubby to do so off we headed to Home Depot. After that we came back home, relaxed and for dinner he took us to Islands! Yum! I wanted to enjoy a drink or two but I forgot my id at home... and if you ask anyone, David looks like he's 16 and I look 15... so that's no fun ha! On top of it all David wants me to go enjoy a pedicure tomorrow, he had also gotten me a beautiful charm bracelet that we're waiting for to arrive and he said he'll clean the house... hmm we'll see about that...

I'd say, it was the perfect First Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day Fellow Ladies! ;)

Sick! =( 23 weeks!

Guess who's in the beginning of the 6th month?! Me!!!!!!! =D Which means holy moly only 3 1/2 more to go! =0
Sorry for the lack of blogging this week, I got some kind of cold and it's no fun! Sore scratchy throat, coughing , congestion and headache... {insert Emoji thumbs down}
Anywho, this week something awesome began to happen, I can officially see Noah jumping in my belly! It's so fun, I'll be watching tv or just sitting and relaxing and I see my belly move a certain way! It's so entertaining! Little man is throwing punches now! =)
I finally captured it on video but vimeo is acting up and nothing appears when I click on the link...

Here's where Noah's at now, Just over a pound and a foot long! He's able to hear most things like Cosby barking and cars on the road. =) Which means by the time he gets here, he'll be used to Cosby's barks and talking sounds ha 

This weekend my dad's wife and her daughter came over and stayed until Sunday. On Saturday we went to the alley's to get some shopping in. It was hot! But so much fun!

The three of us eating Tacos!

I ended up getting a ton of fake eyelashes just for fun, hey they were a buck each why not! I don't usually wear them much, mostly on special occasions but I couldn't skip out on this deal!
When we finally came home from that long day of a ton of walking, I wanted to make dinner for my amazing guests and made Stuffed Bellpeppers and salad! Yum!

It's very easy to make! Click HERE for the recipe. 

The next day, Sunday, David came home from work and we all headed to LAX airport to pick up my dad! Here's what I wore:

That's my Little sister and I. 

Waiting and waiting for my dad to come out ! Noah's big!

Showing off my color contacts =) Oh david, silly faces in pictures never fail with you. 

By the time my Dad finally arrived, we were all starving! So we headed to Olive Garden and def got our grub on ! 

We got 3 different plates and all shared and that was more than enough along with the breadsticks, soup and salad! 

To top it off my sis ordered desert for her bday! 

When we got back to my house, my dad unloaded the goods and showed us what he brought us from Guatemala! I got this cute preggy shirt and a little shirt for Noah! He also got me a cute Jade necklace and David got a hand sewn water bottle holder! And some yummy treats! 

Showing off my Necklace

I kept feeling Noah move a lot and the second I said that both David and my dad put their hands on my belly but of course the second they do that Noah stays completely still! ha brat.

It was a fun weekend with my family! 

On Monday I made David a big breakfast, eggs, bacon, english muffins and pancake balls! To make pancake balls you just put the mix into a cupcake tray and bake for about 15 min and wala! 

He was happy and full that morning, which is hard to do since he eats so much! 

Than our neighbors came over and invited us to go play tennis for a couple hours so we said yes!

Of course we took Cosby and he was chasing the ball back and forth! So cute!

Our neighbors are super sweet and fun! They have a nine month old beautiful little girl! She's so happy all the time and lovessss Cosby! 

Last night we went to my aunts house for dinner and after we got donuts from Rolling Pin. Talk about delish! 

YUM!

On the way home, we had a BIG scare. We went down the canyon like we always do to get home. It's very curvy and very dark at night, not to mention there's no phone signal but both David and I are very familiar with the road that it's no big deal to us. Well last night, right after doing down the canyon, on a curve, we almost ran into a truck that was in the middle of the lane, light completely out and all! We swirved and just missed it and pulled over. David ran out to help and I got on the phone to call the cops. The truck was smashed all in the front and when David opened the door to it, no one was in it, airbag deflated and worst of all, beer cans and pot all over..... It was awful. There was another guy that had pulled over right when we did and he was looking to see if he saw anyone in the bushes maybe passed out... Meanwhile I was freaked out that another car would be coming down super fast and not see this truck and hit it, so I ran out of the way and was still talking to 911. They sent someone over but while we waited we were out in the dark trying to warn cars to slow down and a couple of them almost hit the truck... It was a scary situation. Once the cops got there we headed home shooken up. That night, I freaked out thinking "what if I were driving along and didn't notice the truck or what if a car did hit the truck and we got hit since we were standing right there?" That was the first time I actually felt like a mom. My first thought was "I can't stand right there, I need to move away and protect my baby." it was a new and scary feeling but I am so thankful to my faithful God that he kept us under his wing the whole night. That def brought David and I very close and made us very thankful. Sometimes we need scares like that to remind us that we are here for a reason and to show us how good we have it. 

well that 's pretty much what's gone on this week. Sorry for the long post!