Monday, October 30, 2017

It's been well over 5 months since I last blogged. Life is happening, its going by quick and I want to remember everything for what it is. It is currently 12:30 am, I am staying at my dad's house with my three boys and my husband just left.

Let me go back.
We moved to Bakersfield, CA in February of 2017. We knew nothing about the city. Didn't have any friends there ( I had my cousin there and her kids), but besides that no familiar faces. All we knew was that we could afford to have a house, a yard and do laundry in the comfort of our home. So we went for it. David and I both really wanted to make our living situation more "livable" for our growing family. We were tired of over paying for an apartment we were not happy in, and barely able to afford the cost of living. So we moved 2 hours away and went with the mentality of we'd be living within our means and providing more space for our children.

The house was beautiful ( as I've shared). But days went by, months passed and I became sadder and sadder. I remember the drive back home after Having Benjamin was so hard. All I wanted was to be in a familiar place with my friends and my family surrounding us. I became depressed . I felt like a zombie every single day. I'd wake up, my body hurt, my head hurt and I wanted nothing more but to lie down on my bed in peace. Well, that didn't happen often because with a 4 year old, 2 year old and a new born it's not as easy as it seems. My husband would wake up at 3:30 am and wouldn't be home until 6ish sometimes later because he'd drive two hours each way to get there . All I wanted was to have him with me to make me feel secure in this unknown place in life.
It was hard. I cried A Lot. like a lot a lot.
I'd beg each weekend to take me back to our old town, and a lot of the time we did.

The living situation became difficult . Than summer came and it seemed unbearable. I had never lived in a place as hot as Bakersfield gets. 116 is not ideal when you're a mom of littles and nursing. We thought we would be saving money but the "extra money" was spent on gasoline for our car and air conditioning running 24/7. It was HOT.

So fast forward to now, we jumped the gun, gave our 30 day notice as soon as we found a place we applied to live at. A few days after giving our notice, we found out we didn't get the place. But we both agreed we wanted to move out of Bakersfield, so we kept the notice. We found the cutest little house on a family farm and we went to the showing. It was a rental and other people were there applying as well. We let them know we could be in within a week because  that's when our lease would be up. Days later we found out they wanted us to live there we were so excited, but they also notified us that their brother was in the middle of being bankrupt and they'd offer that little house to him if he needed, so we were on stand by until now.... a month later.
We moved out of Bakersfield.
Put all our belongings into a storage unit.
And went our separate ways.

This is where I struggle to share things on social media, mainly because people can be so quick to assume what is not true and than talk about "it" amongst others.
I had to move in with my dad and David moved in with his mom.
We are separated by 156 miles which = 2hours and 33 minutes.
Not because that's what we wanted but because that's how it has to be for this bit.
His mom still has a school aged child in her home and it'd be to hectic with my family being there. And I get that but it's extremely hard mentally and physically doing this on my own without my husband.
It's not the best of circumstances here at my dad's either but I'm glad to be close to my dad and to also be growing closer to my spiritual Father. That's something I lacked when we were in Bakersfield.

So this is week 4 of living at my dad's and we just found out that the house we were waiting on is "most likely a no go" for our family. - words from the landlord.

So here I sit, wide awake blogging. It's almost 1am and I'm trying to figure out what our next move will be. It seems that God always gives us blessings in disguise because if it weren't for me living here with my dad and us waiting on a place we would not have been able to afford fixing our car which needed to be worked on. So we did that and now we are saving to move out and in to a place together with my husband and in the city we want to live in.
This journey has been hard but I've learned to trust in God 100% now more than ever. As sad as I am being without my husband or without a home, I've also enjoyed being around my dad and in this area exploring outside with my boys daily.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Day in the Life..

So last night before falling asleep, I watched a vlogger on youtube talk about how she disciplines her toddlers. It all boils down to understanding their love language and how to feed them that need. Sometimes kids act out because they need attention or to be shown love in the way they understand it. I went to sleep super motivated and ready to go for the next day with trying hard to be attentive to my 4 year old and his needs.
This morning we woke up at 7, got ready and went to a grocery store to get eggs. With all three kids, yes it's a lot of work but we did it and both older boys behaved. We came home, we enjoyed a dinosaur show all together and I fed baby after breakfast. Than, while Levi kept watching tv, I sat down with Noah to practice writing. He gets very frustrated when it comes to learning how to do something , so I kept my cool and talked to him and asked  him what he needed. He didn't want to do that than and there. So we moved on. We cleaned a bit, he helped without me having to ask and that was great!
Than we let Levi take his 2 hour nap and baby too.

Afterwards, I made them lunch, we all got ready than changed both diapers because for some reason they always end up pooping the second we are about to step out the door. hahaha
I had an errand to run at the post office (sold something on Mercari) and they were a little rowdy but not too bad.
Than I took them to the Library....

The books I picked out for them.

and that's where I don't understand what I am doing wrong.
They were loud, they didn't listen to me when I asked them politely to behave. They kept trying to touch a little baby they saw and it was making the baby's mom a little nervous and I kept getting them and explaining why they cannot just go and touch a little baby and they didn't again.
But after that they kept misbehaving...

I feel like I give them my all. Every little ounce of me and it's still not enough. I know that they are so little still but you would think the solution is to take them out for fresh air and do fun things with them and spend time with them.... I do. I do a lot with and for them and it frustrates me that they act out as much as they do. I give them pep talks before we go into a place, I explain how I feel and still ... People have told me they are well behaved but it feels like for me, a lot of the time , they are difficult.

One thing from that video on youtube that she said was
"just because they have one bad day, does not mean they are a bad child." I love that. It reassures me that this is normal but sometimes it feels like too much to handle. I also need to remind myself that God put me in this spot to be THEIR mommy. I'm the perfect person to be their mom because that is the way it was intended to be.

I guess its just nice to write it out and clear my head for a minute. If anyone is reading, if you're a parent, I know it's hard. It's a lot of selfless work, but know that you are amazing at what you do and you are the perfect person to be your kid's parent.

Monday, May 22, 2017

So much to blog

I have so many blog posts in mind that I keep wanting to do but can't seem to catch up. I guess it comes with being a mom of little ones, you want to do so much but can't quite do it all . It's been pretty busy around here, went to Disneyland, that Sunday was Mother's day and Benjamin's dedication at church ( waiting to receive pictures to post about that).

This past weekend we had my husband's Dad and Wife visit us and that was a lot of fun! Next weekend Levi turns 2, and although we are not doing a birthday party this year I still want to do some kind of a fun family outing so I'm trying to think of something.

Baby Ben turned 2 months old this past week, and I need to post on that.

I have some awesome Goodwill finds, want to post on that.

I started this group (well I didn't start it, I was invited by a friend) to do this series online called Moms of Men, where two ladies who each had 4 boys, give us advice, fellowship and share their wisdom as moms of men and what they went through.
I want to do a more detailed post on that because the series is so good, but for now some things I've learned is : Doing the wrong things in the wrong season is not how it'll work, and even doing the right thing you're meant to do in the wrong season of life will not work but that doesn't mean it's not your calling.
I love their raw advice and sharing of their journey too. Motherhood is incredibly hard on any mom, boy mom or any mom. I had a lot of things I could relate to in their talk and it just feels good to know I'm "normal". ha
Also, once a week, me and a group of I think its 8 girls, text and share our feelings and what's been revealed to us by that week's lesson. Oh and the lessons are online. We all paid $39 for a series of 12 lessons. It's great!

What else....
I also want to do a post on my feelings about this recent move. Friends and family know that we are so happy to be in such a lovely house now, but are definitely feeling homesick and our lease is up in a couple months, so we've been looking at our current options. Moving out, staying in this city in a bigger more private place, moving back to our favorite county but living in an overpriced tiny apartment, or even me moving in with my father to save for a bit and maybe save enough to buy. We are still young and trying to figure out what and how to do things and what's the smartest move for our family. We don't have too much help but we have definitely been blessed through out it all.

I still need to post an updated house tour.

I'd love to post my cleaning or cooking routines.

I need to post a recent maternity photoshoot I did.

And also about vlogging. That started almost 2 years ago and soon fizzled down. I think I wasn't encouraged enough to keep doing it, but I really want to start taking my camera out to record more because these babies grow in the blink of an eye and I don't want to miss a thing and it's amazing to have it all documented just like I do on this blog. I love being able to look back and see how fun our lives truly are and blessed.

Okay, just felt like I needed to jot these things down. We have  a lot going on, just like everybody else and it's nice to unload sometimes and to remind myself that I can't do it all. So maybe you'll see some of these posts in the near future and maybe not. And it's okay if not. Nothing will come of me posting or not posting Benjamin's 2 month update. ha.

One thing at a time and enjoy every second of it.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Disneyland 2017

We Went to Disneyland!
Oh my gosh it was so much fun! I was so excited and nervous to take our kids to Disneyland for the first time, but when you are there, you just learn to go with the flow and enjoy this magical place!
As I mentioned, I had won these tickets to Disneyland on the radio months before and we wanted to go at a time we thought would be best. It was Mother's Day weekend, super packed, wonderful weather and we had a blast!

The boys didn't even know what to expect besides what they had seen in Youtube videos of vloggers going to the theme park.

We got there kind of late. I had planned waking up at 5:30 am since it's a 2 1/2 hour drive and leaving by 7 to make it just in time for the opening. Well, Friday morning everyone except David woke up coughing, with burning throats and pounding headaches and runny noses.  I know, I know, we probably shouldn't have gone but it was still well worth it. The boys listened to their bodies and knew when to sit back in the stroller or Noah would just come up to me and say he needed to have a "sit" . ;)
I was feeling good for the most part but definitely felt burned out by 6pm.

The boys got to go on the carousel with daddy, the dumbo ride with mommy, it's all small world, Noah went on a small roller coaster with me and than David took them to Mickey's house and they met Mickey Mouse! For three 4 and under and a nursing new baby, I think that was more than enough! They had so much fun!
We also saw our favorite Vlogging family walk right in front of us and I didn't have the courage to say hi... I regret that for sure! Bonnie and Joel Hoellein, we love watching your videos! Come back to California soon! lol

For lunch we ate outside the park at Tortilla Jo's. I enjoyed a margarita and David a beer and burritos. The kids ordered hot dogs. It was good. Since we were all sick we didn't even get yummy treats from Main St. , it's hard to have much of an appetite when you keep coughing .

Oh we also saw Craig Robinson (Daryll from The Office) and were in disbelief ! We didn't go up to him but I did search for Disneyland posts with him in it on Instagram afterwards, and sure enough that was him! =) So fun!
 For a souvenir, Noah went to build a bear outside of the park and got a puppy and named it Noah!

We watched most of the Electrical parade and called it a night. I had brought light up wands and bracelets from the Target dollar section for this purpose, and it was so fitting. It's safe to say that the boys had the time of their lives and have been eager to go back!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Weekend Update & Fun Family Surprise!

Our weekend looked a lot like this picture above.  We had planned on going to my dad's because our friends were throwing a BBQ for their daughter's birthday and they live on the same street as my dad.. buuuuttttt That didn't happen. Levi ended up getting sick and vomitting Friday a few times so we stayed in. Not complaining though, because it felt so so good to enjoy my family in our little home with a cozy fire going and Louis Armstrong playing in the background and kids running and laughing. It was a good weekend. 
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Enjoying my little baby. I cannot stop kissing him! I love his squishiness!

On Sunday we went to church. Levi was doing a lot better but slept in, which he needed but we were definitely in a hurry to get ready when he woke up. We made it just in time! I went into the Mother's room for the first time at this church, and fed the baby and let him lay on the sofa in there while I watched the sermon on the tv. It was so good!
The metaphor used for the sermon that stuck with me was : "Do you want to be the keurig version for Jesus? That is watered down, quick to make and doesn't really let the flavors set in? Or do you want to be the intriquette way of how coffee is made? Measured out in every ounce, spends time soaking Jesus in and allows for the coffee to really build in the cup?" Time with Jesus is needed and we need time to brew if we want all the "flavors" to soak in. To have that deep relationship with God it takes much effort on our part, not just a quick prayer here and there.

The Sermon was focused on 1John 3:9-11
After church, we came home, relaxed, ate lunch and watched a movie on my laptop while Noah and the baby slept.

Once they got up, I gathered a few items to take to Plato's closet and surprisingly walked out with thirty bucks. Not bad. But I'd still rather sell on Mercari.

Our Fun Family Surprise

We're going to Disneyland! I'm so excited to take our kids for the first time! We've been waiting on a good time to go and we're finally going next weekend!
I had won Disneyland tickets on the radio ( I have this thing with winning amazing prizes on the radio) around Christmas time, and I saved them thinking we could take Noah for his birthday. Well things came up, I was pregnant and miserable so we decided to wait until after I had the baby to be able to go. So, Benjamin's almost two months old, this mama is feeling better and we're finally going!

As excited as I am, I'm super nervous at the same time. We're taking a 4 year old, an almost 2 year old and a brand new baby that breastfeeds constantly. So I'll be on pinterest these next few days trying to plan out how to go about what rides to take them on and so forth. Any suggestions from mama's that have taken 3 littles to Disneyland, please message me! ha

I'm so excited! 

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Old Rocking Chair Makeover

 We found this little gem in our favorite Goodwill location for only $2.99! When I say we I mean David found it. ;) I'm surprised by how into Goodwill hunting he can get, he usually doesn't like being in stores but he's gotten good at finding treasures.
This little chair was priced at $5.99 and than marked at 50%off so we paid almost nothing for this cute little guy.

As you can see, the design of the fabric is AMAZING  so I immediately got to thinking of what I wanted to replace it with. I love natural colors and linen so I knew that would be it. I had a linen table cloth that didn't fit our new big table so I used that and cut the size of the cushion out for both the back of the seat and the seat itself.
Basically, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to sewing, but I can get by with what I do know. So I cut out the shape of the cushion, using the old one as a measuring tool, and cut two out to sew together.
 The Actual chair I painted a blue color. I bought the paint from Target. I love how it turned out!
I did two coats and while it was almost all the way dry, I took a clean brush to brush some of the paint off to get the wood to peak through.

 My sewing is not perfect, not super straight, but I did make sure to use the right color thread to go with the rest of the chair.
 The old cushion had a little button that clasps onto the chair so I made sure to keep that and just change out the fabric. I love that little accent to it.
Isn't it cute?! I love it and it's comfortable. I hope this chair stays with us for a very long time. 

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Baby Benjamin's Nursery

Rug: TJ Maxx Clearance $39.00

Welcome to Baby Benjamin's nursery! This is my favorite room in the house! Its sweet vintage touch and simplistic design is so cozy and nostalgic! My idea for the "look" of his room was simple with a touch of bohemian/vintage if that makes sense? The room had so much character already without me having to add much to it which is why I love it!

Vintage wooden cabinet: $25.00 Craigslist

This is one of my favorite things in Benjamin's room. We found this sweet steal on Craigslist for $25.00! I gave her a nice paint job and this is what she looks like! I love how it came out and the vintage blue chippy look just goes so perfectly!

Vintage bunny: Thrifted for $1.99

The light blue on the inside of the door was me "testing " out what paint I wanted to use before I made my choice.

The alphabet decals was thrifted but it's from target.
mini crib: craigslist. Delta.

I can't seem to keep the boys out of this room. They too love being in here. The feeling is just something I can't explain. It feels good being in this room.
 Another one of my favorite corners is this beautiful little built in cabinet with glass doors. I knew instantly that this would be our baby's room when I saw this little cabinet. And I knew I wanted to display little wooden toys and books in it the second we saw it.

Vintage toys thrifted. 

the rocking chair was thrifted. An amazing find at $2.99! David scored this one! Thanks babe! I painted and reupholstered 

Round mirrors from Target dollar section : $5.00 ea. Decals thrifted but from Target.

The changing table was free from Craigslist but its Ikea. Wire canvas baskets from Walmart.

 This room has a fireplace in it. We've yet to use it but I plan on filling it with faux birch wood and removing the little gate as well.  I hung a big bohemian wall hanging I found at the Goodwill a year ago.

And this wall hanging is also thrifted but from Target.

That's it for baby Benjamin's room! Thanks David for all your help when it came to decorating or hanging things up for me. =) This space will forever have my heart.


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